There is a strange phenomenon is this world which is called human interaction, intercourse - shagging in short - everything that is related to this quite simple activity seems very complicated, especially for urban young -ish people, fed with Carrie Bradshaw and other Bridget Jones. Here are some different situations:

A - You are in a long-term relationship.

THE MYTH: perfect solution to have a regular dose of shag, with a partner you can develop with, learn with and because OBVIOUSLY you are madly in love, this is a moment of sharing emotions, body language etc.

THE FACT: the desire and mystery are hard to find, you have heard your partner burping, farting, snoring etc. He / she doesn't even pay attention when you put on your night cream and he / she doesn't care if his / her underwear look more like a mop to clean the floor than something that is supposed to arouse you. In brief the occasions are rare, the imagination gone and as soon as finished he / she will fall asleep / read the newspapers / switch the TV on.

B - You have been single for a while

THE MYTH: you are happy to be single. The possibility of shagging around is a privilege that your friends in relationships are not supposed to have. You feel free, and you ARE free, you could pick anyone you want is this bar and this would be only your problem. No commitment, no trouble.

THE FACTS: you are desperate. You are dreaming about a long and reliable kayak, and the sixth gin and tonic (variant: Jameson on ice) is making you even more sensitive to certain looks and make you ready to go for it. Unfortunately you know the person is your colleague's best friend / friend's brother / married with five kids from 0 to 6, you give up at the last minute. You order another G & T (other version, you make the first step, are so drunk you can't even talk normally, the person walks away. You order another G & T)

C - You are a free thinker

THE MYTH: you think love is a wonderful human possibility and do consider that it should be free. You reject all the social conventions if even though you don't live in a big house where the principle of musical chairs applies to your bedroom, you are at least playing around and multiply the sensory experiences happily with your different partners (including your long-term one as option C is not exclusive of option A)

THE FACTS: not only the potential new partners are reluctant to have sex with you because you have kids ("no, it wouldn't be moral"), but also do you experience this strange feeling that you didn't know could apply to you: you're possessive. And NO, it is not the same thing if I do have sex with everyone in the house than if he does.. It is .... different

And love is of multiple forms, trust Woody Allen who said "Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love"