30

Here I am! I am crossing the line. Because the past year has been quite difficult and eventful and that it coincides with me reaching the 30 number, I have been thinking quite a lot about the past 10 years. I have to say, I am pleased.

10 years ago, I was celebrating my 20th birthday around a frozen lake in Sweden. Two dear friends of mine had bought food and booze and we got drunk in the cold, in a very enchanting forest that was surrounding the campus of Vaxjo University. I was in the middle of a degree in political science and was about to meet the first love of my life. I had already met my very close friends in college, and those ones are still around, 10/12 years on. The following years were about graduating and trying to figure out what the f**** I wanted to do with my life. After that, it was mostly about collecting a number of very lousy jobs: data collection about Viagra, factory working, sales by telephone, receptionist in a shitty shop (for the ones in France), apple picking (Sweden), customer service, administrative assistant, accounts assistant, PA, data entry (Ireland).

Travels were so important during this decade. I went back and forth to Sweden, visited most of Europe, discovered Japan, Mexico, discovered the midnight sun, ate grasshoppers (Mexico), rotten fish (Sweden), contracted the turista, cycled during weeks in France, got sunburned, got blisters, got lost (a lot), met beautiful people.

I did quite a lot of silly things: organised a (fake) sex group on a football field, spent hours in a computer room trying to figure out how the Internet was working (yes people, at this stage, modems with telephone lines were the rule), lost my apartment keys in 2 metres of snow and had to wait for spring to get them back, lost an unbelievable amount of phones, got sick in taxis, vomited in public places and on my school director's shoes, kissed an unbelievable amount of guys, got drunk a lot, tried drugs, walked home unconscious in the middle of the night (well I still do that though), got drunk because of guys (still do it too), quit jobs and found myself penniless, had to get invited to friends places because I was too broke to buy food, disappointed a couple of people (mostly friends I was not very frank with)...

I learnt a lot: languages, bike repair, accountancy software, how to use a mobile phone (same stuff as for the Internet, the first phone was the size of my hand and the screen was black and white) and also lessons of life. The good people are worth a little bit of sacrifice, the ones not worth it are just to be left on the side, boys are stupid (I sense Julien's comment there), relationships complicated, psychotherapy works, my family is wonderful and religions are definitely not something I am attracted to.

In ten years, I had two important boyfriends, met amazing people (charity workers, my volunteers...), got disappointed, hurt, felt love as never before, I confirmed my feminism, got very militant and then less, my political opinions got softer and more reasonable.

In brief, it was good!

July and bicycles

Wow, I don't know how I get the time to write this, but this is a very busy time for me and my little company.
Rothar is growing and growing, I am barely time to do other things. But it ROCKS! For some reason, bikes bring nice people along, my volunteers are good and committed, my sales are going up, the word is spreading all around Dublin, in other words, I am myself a Captain of (very small) Industry now.
This small post is mainly to explain why I keep silent and don't answers the emails, sorry people. I see a bright future for Rothar right now, and I have to concentrate on this. I will rest during winter. A little bit of patience and I promise I will write again one of my feminist rants very soon.

Pensee du jour

Fait chier, chuis encore bourree...

You have to love Sweden sometimes...

I had talked about it some time ago: some Swedish women in Uppsalla had been asked to leave a swimming pool because they were going topless. "If men can go topless, why would it be forbidden to women to do the same?" they asked. Why should female breasts be sexualised? A big debate (and not a very tasteful one generally speaking) followed. And here it is!

http://www.thelocal.se/20250/20090624/

And you will notice at the top of the page that Swedish swimming pools can now allow topless women and rent Burkinis at the same time. Love 'em!

Is it worth coming to Dublin?

That is not a random question that a to-be tourist would be asking, that is actually a friend of mine who was thinking about moving over here and he asked: "so, tell me, is it worth moving to Dublin?"

He caught me off guard: this question has millions of answers and I genuinely didn't know what to say. So I suggested him to give my answer in writing. Here is what I wrote:

"Darling, if you are looking for a place where the sun shines, where culture is easily available and where people appreciate a good wine with a nice meal (he is from Paris), so well, no, you'd better
go to Rome.

If, on the other hand, you don't mind a shitty weather all year long and have a bit of patience, well, there are a lot of possibilities for you over here. Darling, I am going to make a love declaration to the city I have been living in for the past five years, and I apologise in advance for my lack of objectivity.

Dublin is a small city, some people over here call it a town even, with narrow streets, and a somewhat anarchist architecture. You will never be charmed at first by Dublin. It is kind of grey and off putting, some areas with their Georgian buildings are very nice, but generally, beauty is not widespread.

If you move over here, you will have to give time for the city to grow on you. The Irish people are renowned to be friendly. Well that's true, but don't expect any real friendship at first. This will take time and even when you think you're there, you will probably get pissed off or at best slightly annoyed by their sloppiness and fear of commitment. You will get there eventually, I assure you.

What I can say about this city is that you will have opportunities: people, if sometimes very annoying in their superficiality, will be there for you if you are there for them. The beauty of the city will reveal itself once you have abandoned your Lonely Planet guide. You will discover little gems in the city, hidden spots where even Dubliners don't even go to (that is another thing Dear, Irish people are satisfied very easily and wouldn't be the type of looking for excellence. You will learn the meaning of the word "grand" quite quickly. The bus isn't on time (i.e. 20 Mn late)? That's "grand", it will come eventually). After a while, you will probably get discouraged, angry at their passivity (this applies to all domains of life), disgusted by their laws (see reference to their passivity above).

Give Dublin time. Give Dublin a chance. Dublin is a wonderful town when you have given it an opportunity and when you keep trying. You will listen to trad music sessions in some random pub, you will find yourself talking to people during hours on a Tuesday night, you will be gobsmacked by the generosity of its people. This is not patronising, this is 5 years and a half of making friends, losing friends, having love stories, having love failures, working in different areas, living in different areas (don't even think about the Southside if you want to get the real stuff), developing a Dub accent, and eventually not wanting to leave.

Beware Darling, if you get into Dublin, Dublin will get into you. If you come over here and have this amount of love for the city and the people it is composed of as I have, you will get contaminated. Dublin is home, Dublin is pain, Dublin is where I want to live. Please join me."

Life is funny

sometimes... Ups and downs, and today is an up! I got awarded for my work with the projet by the Social Entrepreneurs. It means a bit of money, a bit of training, and a lot of free advertising. Whisky's on the way!

Butterflies in the stomach

Must be spring, I don't know, but I feel all light and optimistic. And emotionally rested and have buried the hache de guerre with my ex. Life's getting good again. What a relief!

The joys of social welfare

As you know, or maybe you don't, I have been unemployed for the past two months, and working away for my project. I have the honour then to be a recipient of the Job Seeker's Allowance. It is the open door to a life full of distraction, happiness, fulfilment, in other words it sucks.

Why?

First of all, the amount you can get is 200€/week. Considering the rents in Dublin, this is generally just enough to pay for the rent and the bills.

Secondly, the unemployment rate is Ireland increased from 4% of the active population at the end of 2007 to 12% last month. The dole (for the non initiated, dole is the name for any social assistance) staff are struggling with this increase and the payments are always delayed. Queues in the premises are getting longer.

Third, the dole is on deficit now. There are talks about decreasing the amount available to each person. Considering that the unemployment rate is supposed to increased to 16% by the end of the year, that foreign people have no chance to get a job anywhere anymore (National preference is not just a concept when recession hits), well I wonder how the middle class people with no savings and getting fired are going to cope.

Finally, the rules are a bit weird. You can get weekly payments by going to the Post Office and get the money in cash over the counter. Apparently, this is to fight against fraud, but I wonder which kind of money you can save. Furthermore, so many post offices don't ask for any ID, so you can still send someone for you.

This is the wonderful life of an unemployed person in Ireland. The good news is I don't have any debt / mortgage / car / no special taste for expensive cosmetics and clothes, and I can top up with my business. How many people have my luck? Not sure, but I do sympathise with the ones who are struggling and the ones who will in the very near future.

Recession Ireland, not everything is bleak - or the role of immigrants in the regeneration of a shocked country

Yes my friends, we are in deeeeeep shit in here. The ESRI (Economic and Social Research Institute) published the figures last week: Ireland is going to go through the worst recession of a Western country EVER. The GDP would shrink by 9.2% by 2011, a number never reached before. Yes, we were proud of our Celtic Tiger and our success story. A small poor country that had succeeded to reach the rank of second richest country in Europe. I will not go into political considerations, there are too numerous and too unnerving to be talked about.

BUT! Ireland does have a strength: its immigrants. It is nothing to do with self promotion (well, not exactly) but it seems like in those bleak days, immigrants (called non nationals in the politically correct world) are the only ones having some kind of entrepreneurial spirit. Rents are going down, people are coming back to more essential values and it boosts initiatives. But mostly those initiatives come from people like me, born in another country, and embracing the opportunity of a very informal and still creative country.

The first initiative is mine: Rothar (www.rothar.ie). The idea is spreading out, Rothar is growing day after day (maybe very very good news by the end of June, but sssshhh that's a secret), and most of the people working with me are foreign nationals. A lot of other immigrants have decided to create their own company / studio etc. A very good project is the D light studios, based in Summerhill, created by a Polish lady (http://d-lightstudios.com/). Another highly influential project is Joerg, central figure of the Event magazine, browsing through every free event in Dublin and publishing them on the Internet. Joerg is German. And there is the Flea Market, created by a melting pot of Italian and Czech people, recycling initiatives in Ballymun launched by a British team etc etc etc.

Who said immigration was a danger? We are the ones who worked for a lower salary, in not so prestigious jobs during years when we were over qualified. We were the ones creating the Celtic Tiger by providing workforce to the American companies, speaking different languages and being extremely adaptable. We are still here, and it seems we will be the ones pulling the country up again. I think we should have a statue in the middle of O'Connell St acknowledging our highly important role in the Irish society.

Pensee du jour

Ai sommeil

Pensee du jour

A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else.

Pensee du jour

S'il y a bien un truc dans ce monde qui me rend de mauvais poil, c'est d'avoir le vent en pleine face lorsque je suis sur mon velo. Grrrrrr

Post de feignasse, but worth it

Addicted

Aaaaah! I discovered it (yeah, I am always very late, having no TV makes me watch stuff that are 2 or 3 years old) a couple of weeks ago, and I have to say, despite my reluctance for any TV show, this stuff rocks.

First reason: the set. The whole thing is in Baltimore, which is apparently a city as rough as a bear's ass (1 homicide a day.. keeps the doctor away. yep, no need for one anymore at this stage). For once it is not in Beverly Hills, in an upper class or suburbian area, where people have 5 cars and their problems on "is he going to go out with Rachel?". No, in The Wire, people take drugs, they fight to save their failed marriage, they have shootings on a daily basis

Second reason: the scenario. Brilliant. It always starts with a precise problem (a murder, a drug dealer) and then expands to a sociological analysis. The different levels of the series is the best aspect of it: things are intimately linked, one issue leads to another etc.

Third reason: the cast. I have to say that as usual the main actors are attractive and sexy. In a different way though. None of them is Jennifer Aniston or Eva Longoria, but they do rock and have this roughness that makes them even more attractive (must explain my taste for slightly fucked up guys...)

Fourth reason: the music and the language. No politically correct dialogues, no mainstream soundtrack. The main theme was written by Tom Waits, and the big fat rap is all over the place. It gives another rough dimension to the whole thing, something essentially harsh. That's why we like The Wire. The language is (thank God for the subtitles in the DVDs) the one you can expect in Summerhill (North Dublin area which is known for being the main provider of heroin in the City) but with this American intonation and the proper slang coming from the hood: "you feel me?", "love da bunk", "it all in the game"...

Fifth reason: realism. Of course it is a TV series, of course it is a fiction, but at last there is no happy ending to an American show. Yes, politicians are corrupted, yes, the bad guys always go away, yes, the drugs trade is as lively as it always was. We try our best to make the world a better place, but because we are not entirely good ourselves, we have to be confronted with our own flaws and eventually things are not much better at the end.

In other words, The Wire is a little jewel of TV production. If you haven't seen it yet, well, I cannot do anything else but recommend it to you. You feel me?

And now....

You have to take the shit and pull yourself out of it.
In three weeks, I lost my job, my relationship collapsed, my father had a heart attack. That would be enough to make anybody paranoid. I'm not. I am in pain, but the light is at the end of the tunnel.
Working on the project, looking for a flat, thinking about how long I can live on my savings are very pragmatic ways of getting courage and stubborness helps too :)
In other words, life is hard, and so I am... My friends, hold on to me, I'll be back soon. Encouragements welcome..

No comment

4 ans de bonheur...

viennent de s'achever. Le Petit Prince and His Quirky Princess ne sont plus. Les histoires d'amour finissent mal etc...

Et comment j'ai repris...

Pfff manque total de credibilite, fait chier.

I blame my boyfriend (had to find guilt somewhere)

Comment j'ai arrete de fumer

On n'en est pas encore la, mais j'essaie! Ca fait une semaine tout juste et tout ce que ces sites de brin (site du ministere de la sante en France, quismoking.ie ici) disent est vrai! En gros, on dort moins bien (deja que c'etait pas terrible..), on est irritable, on a des envies presque incontrolables, on pense a la clope, on doit changer ses habitudes pour ne pas "y" penser (serieux des fois j'ai l'impression d'etre Ewan McGregor dans "Trainspotting), bref, c'est pas une mince affaire. Mais! ces sites de brin ont un avantage aussi. Par exemple, les avantages d'arreter de fumer (trouve sur stop-bac.ch ceux ci). C'est con, mais ca m'a vachement motivee:

- 20 minutes apres la derniere clope, la tension arterielle diminue
- 4 heures apres, la nicotine a disparu de l'organisme
- 24 heures apres, le gout et l'odorat reviennent
- un mois apres, le souffle revient
- un an apres, le risque de maladie du coeur est diminue de moitie par rapport a celui d'un fumeur
- apres 15 ans, le risque de cancer du poumon, gorge et autres rejouissances est egal a celui des non-fumeurs.

Bon je sais, c'est assez chiant a lire mais je suis en train de mourir d'envie d'en griller une, donc je m'occupe.

Encouragements bienvenus! Bisous a tous

Alors....

I know it is just January 14th, but still, I started a couple of stuff I've decided already. This is the result of my surhuman efforts so far (je m'envoie des fleurs hein)

1) Write or call my grandmother more often: needs a bit of discipline, I think a reminder every three weeks would be a good idea

2) Learn how to grow herbs on my balcony: errr, have you seen the weather in Ireland in winter? even the potatoes don't grow

3) Get comfortable with people of another opinion (i.e. right wing): needs work

4) Watch different films, not only the ones talking about one eyed women in South India or the conflict in the Middle East: I did it! I watched "Spiderman 2" and 3! And I liked it!

5) Learn photography: have to consider other options.. the prices are horrendous, cannot afford it

6) Be less naive: well, that is a resolution I'll have the whole year for.

7) Learn how to make a proper smoky eye (for ignorant people and / or men, this is a make up technic that makes you look like Avril Lavigne): errr.. I DO look like a fucking panda bear.. Needs practice

8) Learning relaxation: went to my first class tonight I'll have you know... It does gooooood

9) Kick my own ass to have this bicycle group started: we're getting there. Meeting a guy from the City Council tomorrow

10) Visiting the friends I haven't seen in ages, in Sweden, Spain, Czech Republic etc: on the way. Went to Spain already visiting Elodie, and France to visit Camille. More to come....

11) Learning how to sew properly: haven't done anything yet

12) Get a pair of stilettos: it is now or never. This is sale's season for fuck's sake

13) Tell people to fuck off when I mean it: started.. at work for the time being.

14) Get into sports. Boxing is the preferred option: didn't get into boxing but into weight lifting. You should see me doing push ups!

15) Have my oven repaire: still waiting the landlord's intervention

18) Stop eating jellies by kilo. One or two at a time should suffice: haven't eaten a single one since Christmas. Might have to buy a big box soon (joking)

22) Stop swearing at each end of sentenc: no comment